User Profile

Evan was born to a proud and magnificent pharaoh in the kingdom of Lower Egypt. He had all the servants and all the concubines that he wanted. He meditated each day and practiced the dark arts and could summon cobras and scorpions out of thin air. But one day he was brutally eaten by a particularly hungry Nile crocodile who had good taste for princely meat.

After that deplorable accident, Evan's spirit wandered aimlessly in the afterlife until it reappeared in Southeast Vietnam to a very Catholic family who, much to his relief, got over having a second girl in the family. Along with the rice patty fields, Evan also grew up in Orange County, California (which is probably the closest thing to Sweet Valley High, but the nerds were never as hot as Adam Brody) and finished his public education in Houston (the experience was quite similar to cattle herding, state prisons, or perhaps even Jester Dormitory). His spare time was spent dodging angry asians who can't drive while passing through Chinatown, soaking up smoke in a pool hall afterschool applying his knowledge of geometry, and repelling the fob's at school who wanted to recruit him to their revolting asian invasion cause (the latter being the most abhorrent).

As soon as high school ended, Evan put in his two weeks notice to Houston and jetted himself to Austin where he greeted the University of Texas with open arms (and later, legs). At UT, Evan thought he'd be a good veterinarian because he could save all the cute wittle wabbits and puppy wuppies, but biology slapped a big one on him and he decided that those bunnies and puppies would be better off with someone else more medically capable. He then turned to Anthropology, which would probably be as useful as aromatherapy, if not less.

During those glorious years of sleeping in class, exploring 6th Street (which failed to impress...but 4th Street, now that is another matter!), and free porn downloads, Evan lived with a myriad group of friends. The first group was comprised of friends from highschool who, fortunately, even through a brief burning and flooding of their apartment, crazy uninvited guests, and loads of drama, still keep in touch with Evan until today. The second roommate was, well, only slightly better than cottage cheese that's been left out for a week. Picture a hairy guy who didn't know how to clean up after himself...yeah, revolting isn't it? So after that little grossfest, Evan decided to move himself into a nice quiet complex where he was free to take out his gayness on his living room and turn it into a cute little home for 2 years.

What is in store for Evan in the future? Who knows? But the Fates definitely have much more planned for him that's for sure. Just wait and find out!

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